I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
