I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
