Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
