Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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