to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
