She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
