We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You took a bar mat shot.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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