Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
