My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
