dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Two words: blizzard sex
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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