Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Actions speak louder than pants.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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