im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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