Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
