How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
