Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
