TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
