god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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