You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
