Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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