I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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