doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
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