Porn is love you can see.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
