Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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