When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
