haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
