He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
