She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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