A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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