try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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