Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
