youre lurking in front of me
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
