I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
