Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
