How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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