hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
