Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
