Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
