have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Randomize
