You work out of a Hotel?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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