I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
