Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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