We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
