found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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