this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
its liver damage thursday
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
