No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize