At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
