Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
