**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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