Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
