Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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